It’s almost 2am. I have senior design group project meeting in the morning at 930am.
I’m stressed. I’m tired. I feel sick again. And for once, for the very first time in many years, I have a fear. I’ve haven’t had a SINGLE fear since Mark died. But now I do.
It’s been bothering me. I don’t know what to say, what to do, anything. Not scared to speak. Just scared of what may follow. Will my father stop loving me?
I told my mom already that he puts me on a high pedestal that my other siblings may never reach. I don’t enjoy it either. I’ve known him long enough to know that when he’s disappointed, he loses faith and hope in that person. Dad, I’m sorry I’m a horrible son in your eyes. I tried writing this without crying but I can’t. Tears hit the floor before I can even end this post.
Not until recently have I ever had a close relationship with you, but I damaged it because my views don’t line up with yours. I can accept being a shame to you and Kathy. But losing a real father….the one I worked so hard to have for nearly 24 years,I can’t handle the thought.
I want to run. Far away. Where nobody knows me, or my past. Sorry dad. meus moeror est eternus
True Love. It’s rare to find, hard to keep, difficult to feel, even more complex to explain. It can be elusive. But if you’re patient, it hits you out of nowhere when you’re not expecting it.
I see it in my parents. I sense it from the lovely elder couples I pass by on these streets. There is no formal formal or general definition. It is what you make of it, and what you truly believe and feel it is.
In my short life, full of trials and tribulations already, I’ve sought happiness for so long. A comfort zone where pain can’t lurk. Who would think true love at its realist form would be the remedy? I know what I have and what she has is something real. Sarah, I love you. Never will I be shy to confess it. You bring me joy. You provide something I’ve never had in life before. Comfort.
Thank you, for being you. I love you, Mahal ko.
Those who were once friends, grow up to become cold-blooded murderers in these streets. Richmond shows no mercy for any soul, any spirit, not any future.
Who would think the chubby kid that sat behind you in 7th grade World History, or his twin sister would aspire to kill for the honor of unwritten and unknown respect in a city where lost souls roam. The kid who was once really good and well mannered in PE would become a drug dealer. The tall kid with anger issues who go to become a professional basketball player. The kid who made many laugh would die from a deadly single car accident blocks from my house. The guy who was the only one you could relate to in elementary becomes a murderer and kills his best friend over drugs. The guy who was a good friend and waited with you after classes in high school would die in a fiery fire-filled car accident minutes away from home. The tall athletic guy who played hard on the field would get killed off the Richmond parkway. The guy in our bio class freshman year would become an accessory to murder. His friends who were twin brothers would partake. One twin would suffer death by way of a gun from another friend, while the other twin finds out while in prison. That short kid who never backed down and held his own would be riddled with bullets on the same highway multiple other friends were killed on or shot up, but survived. That funny girl in AP lit would pass on New Years Day, making you spend your 21st birthday at a funeral. That crazy goofy kid from 8th grade PE would go down too. That guy who took risks while in high school would get gunned down. Your best friend would commit suicide. The stories, just like the tears, are countless. I would never believe this is the life I would live through, had I been warned as a child. Nobody yearns for that.
Yet, there’s so much to be thankful for. There’s so many other good stories…that defeat the amount of negative stories by scores of tenfolds. The guy you laughed at in middle school became your good friend in life. That best friend…he’s the reason you are where you’re at today. That beautiful girl you randomly came across in college, who’s name you forgot at first..would become The One. The one you know you’ll love everyday. The boy who was never meant to be born would become your godson, and grow to be quite smart. The guy who said hi in calculus would become another great friend in life. That guy would introduce you to more people. More great friends. The people who you had to collect signatures from and seek guidance from while pledging, would become your housemates. The desire to live from within you heart, would become the reason others believe in you.
Rarely do people piss me off to the point where it gets under my skin. But I’m quite erred by the words of others. How dare you attempt to tarnish my character, and make it seem like I’m a useless, worthless Big Bro. People forget who help take care of them, and who was an ear for them to always listen too. And getting my Mahal all worked up and upset too. Take your drama and shit talking elsewhere….away from those that actually care about having a solid organization of good people with good hearts. Cold frozen hearts aren’t wanted here. I’m more hurt than angered. Wish shit-talking was grounds for kicking people out. Then again, this ranting post would make me guilty of it too. Some people really need to grow up and learn what feelings and emotions truly are
I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.
Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.
i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man
the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge
Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.
PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE
Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.
I am seriously concerned for all of you
please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK
I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK
How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr
Ah, the murder post, I love this one!
This would’ve helped several years ago.
It’s 4am in the morning. I’ve had long day of meetings, work, and volunteering. I can finally sleep. But I’m grateful. And most importantly, I’m happy.
If I died today, I’d die the happiest person. I with a beautiful soul that I love. I’m surrounded by great people in life. I have a future now. 6 years ago, all I seen was an eminent death at a young age. The tides of life change drastically when you’re receptive of the positive vibes.
And Sarah. If you’re reading this…I Love You ❤❤❤❤