Rarely do people piss me off to the point where it gets under my skin. But I’m quite erred by the words of others. How dare you attempt to tarnish my character, and make it seem like I’m a useless, worthless Big Bro. People forget who help take care of them, and who was an ear for them to always listen too. And getting my Mahal all worked up and upset too. Take your drama and shit talking elsewhere….away from those that actually care about having a solid organization of good people with good hearts. Cold frozen hearts aren’t wanted here. I’m more hurt than angered. Wish shit-talking was grounds for kicking people out. Then again, this ranting post would make me guilty of it too. Some people really need to grow up and learn what feelings and emotions truly are
I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.
Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.
i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man
the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge
Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.
PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE
Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.
I am seriously concerned for all of you
please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK
I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK
How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr
Ah, the murder post, I love this one!
This would’ve helped several years ago.
It’s 4am in the morning. I’ve had long day of meetings, work, and volunteering. I can finally sleep. But I’m grateful. And most importantly, I’m happy.
If I died today, I’d die the happiest person. I with a beautiful soul that I love. I’m surrounded by great people in life. I have a future now. 6 years ago, all I seen was an eminent death at a young age. The tides of life change drastically when you’re receptive of the positive vibes.
And Sarah. If you’re reading this…I Love You ❤❤❤❤